POLITICAL JOKES ,INDIAN JOKES,Top Ten Reasons why there won't be an Indian US President Anytime Soon Joke,Pedro Joke

Top Ten Reasons why there won't be an Indian US President Anytime Soon

10. White House not big enough for in-laws

9. Engineering, medicine, law and motels always preferred over politics

8. Agarbattis will set off smoke alarms

7. Can't find decent masala dhosa inside the beltway

6. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother

5. Dignitaries generally intimidated by eating with hands at state dinners

4. No chance for promotion

3. Chewing pan masala not considered politically correct

2. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in

1. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles

Pedro

Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Pedro looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

Musharraf in Tunnel:

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."

POLITICAL JOKES,Politics Joke,Which World Leaders to Choose Joke,True use of KGB Joke

Politics Joke

A small boy asks his Dad, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son,let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the littleboy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Poop."

Which World Leaders to Choose Joke

It is time to elect a world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates: Candidate

A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps untill noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extra-marital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

And the candidates are:

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt

Candidate B is Winston Churchill

Candidate C is Adolf Hitler

So...what makes a leader a good leader??

True use of KGB Joke

The phone rings at KGB headquaters.

They answer : "Hello?" "Hello, Is that the KGB?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbour Y.Rabinotov as an enemy of the state. He is hiding diamonds in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinotov's house.They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Rabinotov and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinotov's house. He answers,"Hello."

"Hello Rabinotov! Did the KGB come?"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yes they did."

"O.K., now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."