A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing?" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" insisted the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
A lady went to her doctor for a check-up. when asked how she got the bruises on the outside of her thighs, she explained that she got them from having sex. The doctor then told her she would have to change positions until the bruises healed. She replied "Oh doctor, I can't... my dog's breath is awful!"
One day God and Adam were walking the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." Adam looks puzzled at God, "Lord, what is a kiss?". God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?" "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." Puzzled again he asks, "Lord, what is caress?" God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?" "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve." Puzzled yet again, "Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush. A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"
